Timothy Lawton

The Real Santa

by on Jun.17, 2009, under 1992

12-24-1992

Santa Claus, the idol of materialism
Patrician patriarch
Riding his elves by the whip
To maintain the stature of his name
Why accord any greater dignity to the one who delivers the presents
Than to the ones who make them
Upon some icy enclave
He runs his Arctic work camp
That frigid Gulag
Where poor midgets are held captive by some pork-bellied despot
Oh oppressed elves rise up and demand your rights
The bum works one night a year and then sponges off of unemployment and disability
Bullshit Blitzen bit you
Always another train for Tina or a truck for Timmy
Where’s he after he’s done screaming, “Get to work you miniscule morons!”
Sitting at the bar working on those rosy cheeks and red nose
I hope he gets an S.W.I.

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